This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
