that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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