I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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