i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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