Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize