What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
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ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard