like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I did not marry a roomba.
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