It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone