Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back