I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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