Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
