hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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