I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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