I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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