i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
