this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
