I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
