I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
