he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You are the jesus of drinking
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
