Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The air taste purple.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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