Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
