Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
