I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
its liver damage thursday
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
