Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
