I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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