hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
