Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It's just like the Real World with babies
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
