The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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