kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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