I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
