just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
