i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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