Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
