Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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