Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
