those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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