alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't deserve a penis
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
