So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
