i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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