based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
not ubering you a puppy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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