my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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