i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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