ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
