The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
