I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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