using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
