I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
