I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
