The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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