Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
