The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize