the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
