why didn't you poke me back
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
