I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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