wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower