Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year