This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
