yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I am one with the molecules
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
