Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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