Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
