I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
