Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just want nice things and good sex
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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