your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
