I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
