just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
