What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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